Straight Love Story

By: Iceical

It was a steamy night, the fog of the heterosexuals filled the streets. The gay agena was far away, getting sucked off in an alleyway out of sight. This was the time of a date, of the straights. A female, stood outside the restaurant. Wearing real human clothes, her tiddies, lifted. Her name, Tiffanda. Approaching, his large chiseled chin, prominent. His hair, coated in jello. A male, people called it Rogert. He was known by his peers as Rig Rick Rogert.

He cracked his spine towards Tiffanda. Recognizing her scent from the blood sample she sent to approve of said date. She responded in a guttural clicking noise, Rogert took this as agreement. The two, with extended knees, slithered right into the window of the restaurant. Crashing themselves into the table.

The waiter walked over, Alcx was tired, after a long night of witnessing potential mating rituals between these straights. It sickened them, they appeared in front of the table that had the loving potential couple. Staring deeply into each other's gaping maws. Alcx looked at them with glazed over eyes, speaking. “Welcome to Hobby Lobby, can I start you guys off with some drinks?” The violent shaking, akin to a dying fish flopping over a ship’s deck, was the customary signal. Alcx walked off, returning with the two headed hose. Gently shoving the nozzles into their nostrils. The rest of the dinner was nothing unusual, just the sound of muffled grunts, and the panicked cries of live poultry vanishing into flesh flaps.

The date had ended, the bill was paid in the usual manner. Tiffanda had seemed dissatisfied with this prospective mate, Rogerts Rick was not Rig. Or impressive in any other way. She unhinged her jaw, only to reveal a smaller jaw. A russian nesting doll of jaws. But as this cascade of loose jaws covered her tiddies her truest intention was revealed. She puked out a tree, it starting to stretch and grow, glistening with its bones and blood. She rolled herself on top. As it grew it carried her into the ceiling of the hobby lobby. Saving her from Rogert. He cried tears of extra virgin olive oil. His small tentacles reaching out towards the beautiful Tiffanda. She was leaving him like some sort of angel returning to heaven. The tree was slowly crushing her body into a paste, the hobby lobby ceiling was stronger than her body. Such was the end of this heterosexual mating ritual.

Alcx spent the rest of the night gathering the meat paste of the women who committed suicide via tree, putting it into the container for the meat hose. Such was their work every night.